This is Amy Morse From Wales, United Kingdom & Her Story of How She Keeps Going…
I count myself fortunate, I’ve not suffered any terrible tragedy or survived a debilitating illness, I’ve been lucky. But if I had to pinpoint ‘adversity’ in my life, it would be an erratic childhood. I grew up the eldest of three in a family who lived very much hand to mouth, with only dad able to work, struggling to support all five of us! My mum has suffered from severe mental health problems her whole life, with a range of complex needs. Often she couldn’t cope.
There were long spells of our childhood where she was away having psychiatric treatment. As the eldest, my role was to look after the younger ones while dad was working. It sounds awful to say it but I remember being ashamed that mum ‘wasn’t normal’. That we all had a difficult relationship with her, constantly reminding ourselves that it wasn’t her fault, her brain was wired up differently.
I never talked about it as a kid and it was years before I could talk about it as an adult. I look back now and like to think I am living a life she could have had were it not for her Schizophrenia. I also think that having such responsibility as a child played a big part in my choice to not have children of my own. I forgave my parents a long time ago. I know, bone deep, that they loved us and did the best they could. That’s a lesson; I think it’s important to forgive your parents, instead of blaming them for what you ‘didn’t have’ as a child.
It taught me early on to be self-reliant and resilient. I grew up very independent and both through choice, and necessity, our parents encouraged that. Considering there is no other history of self employment in our family, it’s interesting that all three of us became self employed!